antoher series of mental breakdown..

So.. I just found out that I didn't pass the bloody organic chem exam..
I'm kinda having a mental breakdown.. for sure.. but surprisingly.. it's not that bad..
for real.. when I saw the result and knew that I didn't pass.. I just thought.. yeah.. whatever.. I knew that I wouldn't pass the exam anyway..
well.. I do feel a bit disappointed.. I mean I failed for heaven's sake.. it's normal to be disappointed..
I even already thought of what I would do next if I didn't pass the exam..
I was thinking of send e-mail the professor for the make up exam..(err.. nachklausur in german..) since I won't be here on that day..
but then I was thinking.. the hell with it.. I'm so fine if I can't do organic lab 2 next semester.. I just feel like this semester was quite hectic.. well..really hectic.. at least for me..
I feel like I don't have life anymore because of the lab.. and I live so freaking unhealthily.. I don't have enough sleep.. I don't eat properly.. my friend always told me that I really looked so damn tired.. I become a caffeine-addict..
I don't hang out on weekends with my friends.. I don't chat anymore with my friend.. I used to be a msn-messenger freak.. I was always online.. but now...
really.. I don't know whether I'm happy with this kind of life..
I'm still young.. I still wanna have fun and enjoy my life..
if I think about it.. I always come to the same questions..
do I really want to study chemistry? am I happy with it? is this really what I wanna do? or am I just pretending that I like it?
ouu.. and there's a new question.. is chemistry really suitable for a clumsy person like me?
hmmm.. like always.. I never have the answers for these questions..
so.. I'm really in a deep thinking of what I would do next semester..
arrrrghhh.. my brain..my brain.. it tells me to stop thinking.. it really needs a rest..
I'll do the thinking tomorrow then.. (the procrastinator is back...)

so.. another video to share..
I was listening to this song the whole day..
the girl was in the same university as my sis.. hihihi..
probably I'd do the same thing as the girl did in the video after this..




P.S. : “Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit." ~ Bill Maher~